10. "Not enough fans were standing for God Bless America."
9. "In order for Toronto to forget all this, I just need to say 'Buffalo Bills two home games' three times in a row in front of a mirror."
8. "It will be nice to have people cheering for something other than the chili race."
7. "Ryan Greer has this fetish that concerns flying pizza...I felt it was best not to question him further."
6. "Listen, pal, they don't give the Order of Canada to just anyone."
5. "Figured I would bring in some fans who know what a championship team looks like."
4. "Don't believe everything you read in the Sun."
3. "We've increased our attendance five years in a row. What, did you think it was because of 'Beginning/Middle/Ryan'?"
2. "Now we get to play New York, New York again and piss off another fan base in the process."
1. "Three hours spent here, with the overbearingly loud in-game advertisements, lame contests, break-dancers on the dugout, horribly overpriced food, and all the constant interruptions we inflict on our paying fans, will drive away anyone who expected to enjoy a baseball game."
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1 comment:
Didn't make the cut:
"We got rid of Hinske. What more do you want?" (Actually, that's better than most of the ones I kept.)
"Call me when you stop agonizing over whether the Leafs will finish 13th or 14th."
"Who would expect people to willingly buy Blue Jay tickets?"
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